Hvordan utvikle gode relasjoner?


Du har antakelig møtt mennesker der “kjemien” stemmer fra første øyeblikk? Praten går uanstrengt frem og tilbake mellom dere, og du har positive følelser som stadig forsterkes under samtalen. Hvorfor er det slik at noen har en veldig positiv effekt på deg? Hvorfor oppnår du sterke relasjoner med noen mennesker og svakere med andre?
I 1921 kom den sveitsiske psykiateren Carl Gustav Jung med sin teori om psykologiske personlighetstyper. Han påstod at vi alle har en preferert adferd, og at en av disse preferansene er å være innadvendt eller utadvendt. Det er kanskje enklere å komme i dialog med mennesker som åpner opp og byr på seg selv, men har dette noen betydning for relasjonen som bygges?
Et viktig element i gode relasjoner mellom mennesker, er at vi kan være trygge på hverandre og ha tillit til at vi blir behandlet på en respektfull måte. Vi vil vite at våre erfaringer, våre følelser og vårt perspektiv blir tatt hensyn til. Samtidig trenger vi å ha innflytelse på vår egen situasjon.
Kommunikasjon og kontakt henger nøye sammen. Noen ganger er det vanskelig å oppnå kontakt med dem vi kommuniserer med, men når vi får det til, er det ofte fordi vi kommuniserer godt. Dette er spesielt viktig å huske på i kontakt med barn og unge. Det er vi som voksne som har ansvaret for at relasjonene er gode, og det innebærer at vi først og fremst må fokusere på oss selv og måten vi kommuniserer med barna på.
Vi mennesker er sårbare, og vi har konstant behov for bekreftelser. Er jeg god nok? Er jeg godt likt? Kanskje jeg er uinteressant? Når vi oppnår god “kjemi” med andre mennesker, er det fordi vi opplever å bli sett, hørt og verdsatt.
Relasjoner handler om å gi hverandre selvtillit, og et godt valg i hverdagen er derfor å fokusere på styrkene til dem du kommuniserer med.
Lykke til!

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