Godfølelsen

 
Den unge mannen som serverer gjestene har på seg en velbrukt lederhosen som går til knærne. Leggene er bare, og oppe har han kun en tynn t-skjorte. Det ser kaldt ut. Selv om solen er oppe, er det tidlig på dagen, og snøen er fortsatt hard etter nattefrosten. Vi er på vei til Zürs fra Rüfikopf og har en pause på Trittalp, en restaurant rett i skiløypen. Mannen serverer en Heiße Schokolade mit Rum til min kjære. Hun griper tak rundt koppen og varmer seg.
 
– Det virker litt enkelt. Husk det er mer mellom himmel og jord enn det vi forstår, poengterer min kjære.
 
Hun har påskebudskapet i bakhodet. Det er langfredag, dagen da Jesus Kristus døde på korset, og to dager til påsken begynner.
 
– Hvis det er så enkelt, er det jo mulig å ha det godt hele tiden, fortsetter min kjære, men det er det ingen som har.
 
Jeg merker at min argumentasjon faller litt sammen. Tro kan bortforklare all vitenskap.
 
– Men ABC-modellen er ikke noe jeg har funnet på, protesterer jeg. Det er en del av den kognitive terapimodellen til Aaron Beck, en anerkjent psykologisk teori. Du kan vel ikke avlyse modellen ved å trekke inn x-faktorer og overtro?
Jeg vet at hun godt kan ha rett. Det er så mye vi ikke forstår. Men jeg holder på mitt. Jeg fasineres av tanken om konstant godfølelse. Kan det være mulig?
 
ABC-modellen baserer seg på en teori om at det ikke er gitt at en bestemt hendelse automatisk medfører en bestemt følelse. Mellom tidspunktet fra en hendelse oppstår til vi har en følelse om hendelsen, gjennomgår vi en prosess som er helt avgjørende for hva vi føler. Du kan si det finnes en bro mellom hendelsene og følelsene, og denne broen er tankene våre.
 
Ordet «kognitiv» refererer til hva vi oppfatter, tenker og husker om en hendelse. Videre er “kognitiv tilnærming” å bli bevisst negative tanker og å jobbe mot å endre dem. Teorien er at vi ikke føler frykt, hat, glede, sorg eller sinne bare på grunn av hendelser i seg selv, men også ut fra hvilke tanker vi gjør oss om hendelsene. Klarer vi å endre tankene, kan vi også endre følelsene.
 
ABC-modellen består av følgende kronologiske deler:
 
A: Hendelsen
B: Tankene
C: Følelsene
 
Dersom vi har negative følelser (C), kan vi gå tilbake til tankene (B) og re-tenke, altså å finne alternative måter å tenke på. Klarer vi å finne positive tanker om hendelsen, resulterer det i mer glede. Jakten på godfølelsen begynner derfor med tankene, derav uttrykket “Du er det du tenker”.
 
Min kjære tar en slurk fra koppen og ser ut over de snødekte fjellene. Jeg forsetter argumentasjonen.
 
– Ta for eksempel meg da jeg stod på toppen av den røde løypen ned til Trittalp. Det var en konkret hendelse. Jeg tenkte at jeg helt sikkert ville komme til å falle på det isete føret. Jeg tenkte at stålkantene mine ikke var skarpe nok lenger, og at jeg ikke var like god på ski som ungdommene som rant foran meg. Jeg ville garantert falle. Så flaut og ydmykende. Jeg følte meg elendig.
 
– Men, avbryter min kjære, du falt jo ikke?
 
– Nei, nettopp! Før jeg satte utfor, tenkte jeg på nytt. Jeg re-tenkte, utbryter jeg, full av begeistring over mitt eget eksempel. Hvorfor er jeg så sikker på at jeg vil falle? Er det flaut å falle? Jeg kjenner da mange som har falt på ski, og det på mye enklere steder, og jeg synes ikke de er klønete av den grunn. De har bare vært uheldige. Faktisk skal de heller ha ros for å ha prøvd. Det er kjedelig å falle, men så lenge ingen blir skadet, er det ingen krise.
 
– Så etter å ha re-tenkt, hadde du godfølelsen, spør min kjære og smiler?
 
– You bet! For en fantastisk påske vi har her i Østerrike!
 
Dessverre er det slik at vi ofte automatisk tenker negativt. Vi overdriver gjerne konsekvenser, altså katastrofetenker, vi undervurderer egne evner og vi påtar oss unødvendig mye skyld.
Et godt valg i hverdagen er derfor å trene på re-tenking. Lag godfølelsen.
 
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