En god start på natten

Hjemme hos familien Dukenfield var det lite harmoni og kjærlighet. Den manglende støtten i barndommen kulminerte i at William Claude Dukenfield hadde en opprivende slåsskamp med sin far før han rømte hjemmefra som 11-åring. Selv om W. C. Fields, som han senere ble kjent som, gjorde suksess som skuespiller og sjonglør på Broadway, levde han det meste av livet som alkoholisert vagabond. “Begynn dagen med et smil og bli ferdig med det”, er et av hans kjente sitater. Bitterheten skyldte han på familien og den tøffe starten på livet.

 

W-C-Fields

William Claude Dukenfield

Med bare noen få unntak, har Norge siden 2001 blitt kåret til verdens beste land å bo i. Vi troner øverst på FNs rankingliste med god margin til Australia som står oppført som nummer to. Denne internasjonale levekårsindeksen har 4 kategorier, og Norge står oppført med “svært høy menneskelig utvikling”. Vår generelle velstand og godt utbygde velferdssystem legger mye til rette for en trygg og harmonisk oppvekst i de tusen hjem, og heldigvis er det få av våre barn som vokser opp slik W. C. Field gjorde.

Selv om samfunnet gjør mye for våre barns utvikling og oppdragelse, er det først og fremst vi foreldre som må ta ansvar for at barna får et godt fundament til voksenlivet. Noen lærere vil kanskje mene at foreldre tar litt lett på dette, men jeg tror de aller fleste foreldre er sitt ansvar bevisst.

Som far for 2 barn, som nå er ungdommer på 14 og 16 år, har jeg gjort meg mange erfaringer rundt barnas oppvekst. En av erfaringene som har som har vært mest betydningsfull og utelukkende positiv, både for barna og ikke minst meg selv, har jeg lyst til å dele med deg nå.

Torkjell Berulfsen sa en gang at “det er aldri for sent å få en god start på dagen”, og her er han inne på noe av det. I løpet av døgnets 24 timer, bør barna tilbringe ca en tredjedel av tiden i dyp søvn. Om det er engler eller den gode fe som passer på er ikke så nøye, men kvaliteten på søvnen betyr mye for hvor uthvilte barna er når de våkner til en ny dag. Min tanke har derfor vært at en god start på dagen begynner kvelden før, med en god start på natten.

De fleste foreldre har noen ting de gjør når barna legger seg. Det være seg å lese for dem, eller å be aftenbønn sammen med dem. Hjemme hos oss avsluttet vi dagen med følgende spørsmål fra far: “Hva er det kjekkeste du har gjort i dag?”. De første årene var det en stor utfordring for barna å i det hele tatt huske hva som var skjedd tidligere på dagen, men etter hvert som de ble vant til spørsmålet som kom hver kveld, ble de også mer vant til å tenke gjennom opplevelsene de hadde vært gjennom i løpet av dagen. Spørsmålet fikk dem til å tenke gode tanker. Gode tanker som skapte ro og glede i et barnesinn, og med en god og bekymringsløs natt som resultat. Selv om det var dager hvor de var triste og lei seg, var det alltid noen gode ting å fortelle om likevel. De små tingene tok bare litt lenger tid å finne. Typisk kunne jeg få høre at “Jeg har tenkt i hele dag at dette må jeg huske å fortelle når du spør hva som har vært det kjekkeste i dag!”. Noen få ganger glemte vi spørsmålet, men da ble det behørig tatt opp under frokosten dagen etter.

I ettertid har jeg funnet ut at tipset om en god start på natten støttes i visdomsdiktning nedskrevet på Island på 1200-tallet. Håvamål forteller om menneskelig livsvisdom, og verdier som settes høyt:

Om kvelden skal du dagen rose. 

* * *

Min datter og meg ♥

 

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