Det er lov å få hjelp


Ifølge legenden ville moren gjøre Akilles usårbar ved å dyppe han i elva Styx, men glemte å fukte stedet hun holdt ham etter – hælen.
Dette ble hans eneste sårbare sted på kroppen, og i trojanerkrigen blir han drept av en pil som treffer denne hælen.
* * *


Akillessenen er kroppens tykkeste og sterkeste sene. Styrken kommer av en rekke tynne kollagenfibre som er tvinnet sammen, slik naturfibre er tvinnet sammen i et sterkt hampetau.
Tross tykkelse og styrke, for noen år siden røk jeg akillessenen i høyre fot. Det var smertefullt der og da, men legene fikk meg på beina igjen. Noen uker i gips, og så var jeg klar igjen. Måtte bare trø litt forsiktig i begynnelsen.
Et parforhold kan sammenlignes med en akillessene. Mange små situasjoner er med å knytter båndet og gjør det sterkt. Samtid er akilleshæl også et uttrykk for noe som er sårbart.
Med tiden kan kroppen fikse både delvis og komplett ruptur, men når endene er langt fra hverandre, er det gunstig å få medisinsk hjelp. Sånn er det med relasjoner også. Noen ganger er det greit å få hjelp til å møtes på nytt. Hjelp til å la fibrene gro sammen igjen.
For mange er det vanskelig å søke hjelp til å fikse et parforhold. I stedet isolerer vi våre personlige oppfatninger om sannhet og rettferdighet. Tankene våre gjør oss til ofre, og vi opplever å føle oss sviktet eller såret.
Vi er laget slik at vi finner det vi leter etter. Vil vi finne grunner til å føle oss såret, klarer vi det fint. Men leter vi etter styrker og lim i forholdet, finner vi det også. Om vi søker støtte, velger vi gjerne venner som hjelper oss å finne det vi leter etter.
Det er tungt å la sårbarhet vike for tilgivelse, men forsoning handler om å tvinne fibre på nytt.
Et godt valg i hverdagen er å søke nøytral hjelp når du føler at endene ikke vil møtes.


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